Keeping the Love Alive

Falling in love is the easiest part of a relationship. Falling in love is that beginning stage where everything seems to be perfect. It is the time in which you become who you want the other person to be. Not that this is wrong, we all do this to some extent.

Falling in love is all about the fun stuff. It is the getting dressed up and looking your best. It is the anticipation of the next call or text. It is the butterflies in your stomach when you are going on a date. Falling in love is wonderful.

But what happens after we fall in love? Is that all? Is there anything else? Does life become boring now?

I know you have probably heard the term the honeymoon stage. This is what the beginning stages of a relationship is called. When it is fresh and new, while you are still learning about each other and well, falling in love.

How long does this stage last? There is no exact number but usually you have those feelings for the first year or so of a relationship. That gives you enough time to really get to know each other and grow.

But just because the honeymoon stage ends, it does not mean that the excitement and lust in your relationship has to end. This is where people tend to go wrong and why a lot of couples do not make it. They feel like because the honeymoon stage is over, that the love is fading. In reality the falling in love part is what prepares us for a real strong long lasting relationship.

Now that you have been in a relationship with this person for a while, you start to feel really comfortable and probably feel like you do not need to put in much effort to keep the relationship going. This is far from the truth. If you want to have a healthy strong forever type of relationship you need to work at it and continue to grow seperately and as a couple.

Here are some things you can do to help bring back that amazing feeling you once had for each other:

Set up Dates with Your Spouse - I know life can get in the way. But you need to put those sweat pants and boxers away for a little while. At least once a week. Make it a necessity to make time on a Friday or Saturday night to get dressed up, put on your best clothes, fix your hair and your makeup and go out. Remember those days of meeting at that nice restaurant or going for a walk along the shore. Relive those days. Though you see each other every day, this will break the routine. Looking your best will make you feel your best. You will remember why you fell in love in the first place. This will give you time to talk, laugh and relax. Now you will have the whole week to daydream at the office about your wonderful weekend and be excited about the next one.

Remind Your Spouse That You Love Them - I know you love your spouse. And I am sure that your spouse knows that you love them. But we often forget to tell the other person how we feel. Slip a nice little note into their purse or wallet saying I miss you. Or send a text saying I love you in the middle of the day for no reason. It will let the other person know that you still think about them and that you still care. It is sure to bring a smile to their face.

Bring Home Little Gifts - It does not have to be expensive. If she loves flowers, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers. If he has been talking about a new CD he has been meaning to buy, buy it for him. This will let them know that you are listening or that you are still aware they exist.

Bring Laughter back into the Relationship - What brings a lot of couples together in the first place is laughter. You know the, I can’t breath anymore because you made me laugh so hard feeling. Make sure that you don’t always take everything so seriously. Bring out the child in you from time to time. Just enjoy each other’s company.

Compromise with Your Spouse - While she might want to get on the computer and play a game and he might want to watch his favorite TV show you need to compromise. Even if you hate the show he is watching, sit next to him on the couch. Hold each other just to be close. And if she likes to play games, get out a deck of cards and play together. This does not mean that you have to sit down and watch 3 hours worth of TV that you hate, or play cards for 3 hours. But just doing a bit of what the other person likes will give you a chance to spend some time together and bond. Let them know that what is important to them is important to you.

Become Best Friends Again - Remember while you were dating and something happened to you? Or when you had a great idea or plan about something you really wanted or that you wanted to achieve? What was the first thing you did? You told the other person. You could not wait to share the news with them or tell them how upset you were about what had just happened to you. You were best friends. Start doing this again. Really listen to each other. It is important that you keep each other in the loop. By letting them know that their opinion is still important, and making them aware that you still need their support will only bring you closer together.

Go out of Your Way to be Affectionate - While you can’t be affectionate with your spouse 24/7, try your best to show your partner affection. When you wake up in the morning, when you come home, before you go to bed, be sure to give them a kiss. If you are walking down the street or in the mall, hold each other’s hand. While you are sitting on the couch, place your arm around them. While these might sound like little insignificant things, they are not. It is very important to show how you feel. It will bring back that warm feeling that you once had. You got married because you knew that this person made you feel special. They were the one that made you feel loved and secure. Actually feeling it is a lot better than just knowing it.

Life is continually changing. We will have heartaches, losses, good times and bad. But having a spouse by your side who has your back no matter what is an awesome blessing and we should never take that for granted.

We have to remember to make our spouse a priority in our lives. Just because we know they love us does not give us the right to become lazy and inattentive. I get it you have a lot to do, but keeping your significant other in your life is an important part of your to do list.

Remember the grass is not always greener on the other side. Just like you water grass to grow, you must water your relationship otherwise it will turn to weeds.

If you remind yourself why you fell in love in the first place and remember to still look at them the same way you use to, then you will be able to build a strong long lasting relationship and be happy and content with yourself and your relationship.

Keep each other as top priority because that is what you both should expect!